See how bad I am at Blogging?

I'm going stop kidding myself and assume that this is this year's update.

I've stopped pining away from the loss of my ex-bitch-girlfriend (Irma), I can look at pictures of her and not recoil in depression. Spanish music no longer instantly reminds me of her, and so on. And  as she is super blocked from her own side on facebook (lol, I like to think it is because she didn't want to leave me, honestly who would once they got to know me?) I sometimes pester her sister who is still a friend with me on facebook (and real life sorta). This is good.

I've started working/apprenticing. I like it, and it pays well. I've not gotten past the basic metal work yet though, but I really like working with metal. Oh I'm going to be an electrician. This is good.

I've met someone on omegle. She reminds me of Jayme. And I don't know if anyone reads this but, if you are, and know who Jayme is, then you should know that this is a good thing. I was an idiot last time I let myself care for someone online, and I'll not be this time. I've known her for about a month or so. We talk, have cyber sex, cheer each other up, and generally all around make the other person smile. We are sorta both avoiding the L word, which is quite reasonable for a month (or wait... damn it has been 2 wows). But we both Care an amazing amount for the other. The only downside is that we met on omegle, she is about as close as anyone can get while staying in the USA. But honestly, I'd be willing to wait for her, like in real life, if she told me she was doing the same. Crazy feelings, and I've missed feeling like this. No not the jealousy of any guy she mentions that made her smile, I've gotten past being petty and ruining peoples lives by making them revolve completely around me, I just want her to smile because of me more then anyone else. Ah well my romantic side is appeased. She is into things that I like, but I'm not sure if she is into everything I am. I've gotten much worse since Irma ran off with some loser and got preggo (and they still aren't married, isn't that sweet?).

I've embraced my whole self. The darkness, is part of who I am. That isn't depressing. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've started to push back, my things are mine (as 5 year oldish as that sounds it is an actual issue), as is my privacy, and what I choose to do with my time is my own problem. Don't get me wrong, I am as loveable as I was before. And as arrogant as this might sound, a girl would be lucky to have me. I'm a damned good person, I just don't have anyplace to focus my powers on so it might not look like I am. Do I want to have sex? Yes of course, who doesnt... but that isnt the point. I found someone, that removes my desire for things like porn. And I don't want to lose her. 

Gah, the whole post is morphing into an about her thing. Am I in love? Quite possibly. And I realized she is going to read this at some point. ... ... ... and now I don't know what to say.

Oh I guess I have one regret, but I think that one thing... made all of this magic possible. And I vaguely regret doing it, but I regret more that I felt it was needed. I never imagined that I would get this amazingly lucky twice in my life and find someone I could care about online on a chat site. And I can only imagine what would happen if we lived nearby, or in the same country.

The time difference... is a bitch. But I am so glad that it is me that on the east side of the globe. I don't know anyone (night owls included) that can function effectively on as little sleep as I do. So I take naps in the afternoons, and wake up extra early for work, just so I can be with her before she goes to bed (to sleep ya perverts).

and I guess I'll be blogging a bit more now though I say that everytime, but it occurs to me. I only blog here when there are feelings involved. Intense ones and there is no one around or that I am able to tell. So I just explode it all here.

Tya... if your reading this, just know that no one else I have ever gotten close to has seen this blog ever. No family, no girlfriends, no one. I have one friend who follows me and I doubt she has read these for years anymore (and if you do read them, send me a chat message or something so I know).

That is all, carry on.